


Lockdown

by drwhorose



Series: Home [3]
Category: Zombieland (2009 2019)
Genre: Anxiety, Body Worship, Domestic Fluff, Explicit Sexual Content, Frottage, M/M, Masturbation, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Rimming, mentions of quarantine, porn with enough plot, sexual healing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:26:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23446972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drwhorose/pseuds/drwhorose
Summary: “I know just what to do.” Tallahassee stroked the stubble on his jaw. “Take off the robe and get on that couch.”“It’s a sofa.”“I don’t give a zombie’s dangling eye what it is, just get on it. And you better be naked when you do.”***Columbus is cracking under the pressure of a lockdown.Tallahassee has some ideas on how to pass the time.
Relationships: Columbus/Tallahassee (Zombieland)
Series: Home [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1648627
Comments: 17
Kudos: 134





	Lockdown

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any of Zombieland, the Bourne movies, or brand names mentioned in this story.

I sank into the sofa and stole a glance at Tallahassee beside me. The only light in the living room flickered from the television, casting shadows on a makeshift tower of DVDs we had built on the floor this past week, using the coffee table as a support beam. Tallahassee’s hat was off, and it seemed that the table wore it more often than he did these days since he only grabbed it when we had to go out. I liked that he felt comfortable enough around me to stop covering his head. If only I could be that secure in my own skin.

He had a bowl of popcorn in his lap, which he’d almost emptied after five minutes into the movie, scarfing down large handfuls of the buttery microwaved treat. Now, almost two hours later, he kept dipping his hand inside absently but grabbed nothing. 

“Damn good movie,” Tallahassee said, his gaze glued to the screen. It was the first thing he’d uttered after popping  _ The Bourne Identity  _ into the DVD player. He was so fixated on the amnesiac spy thriller, it surprised me he could string any words together while it was still going.

“Yeah, uh, sure.” I leaned over and reached into the popcorn bowl, fishing for whatever crumbs remained, and brushed his hand. Little sparks shot through my wrists, racing to my elbows after making contact with his calloused fingers.

He cleared his throat and glanced at me while I kept my eyes on the television. I was thoroughly aware of how silly it was to be this shy around him at this point. He’d heard all my humiliating noises and whines of pleasure, had seen me in a variety of compromising positions, but something about that anticipation, the mere thought of sex with him, excited me. Like fire coursing through my tense veins.

With a grunt, Tallahassee shifted on the sofa and stretched his arm to wrap around me. His large hand squeezed my shoulder, and I gave him a hint of a smile, finally meeting his stare. He looked gentler than usual, the glow from the television screen softening his face, illuminating his eyes like blue crystals. The movie was almost over, and the butterflies worked overtime in my belly. Maybe I could unzip his jeans once the end credits hit the screen and swallow him down. I was getting better every time with that. He never complained about my lack of experience, but I was a quick study. I liked to get things right, and he never said no whenever I asked if I could give it another try. Usually, his pants were halfway unzipped before I could even finish the question.

“All right.” He hit the remote to eject the DVD before the end credits began their long scroll. “Time for the sequel.”

The mere suggestion of sitting through yet another movie with no apparent end in sight was a sucker punch to the gut. We had been camped out on this couch since early morning. I grabbed the DVD case for  _ The Bourne Supremacy _ before Tallahassee could and threw it at the tower, knocking it down in one go. “No, I can’t.”

“Easy there, little spitfuck,” Tallahassee choked out the words while he laughed. “You got a problem with Jason Bourne? I thought you’d like this series. It’s more of an intellectual-type, like you.”

As much as I appreciated the sentiment, I couldn’t let him sweet talk me into sitting through another film. “We’ve been stuck in this house for eight days, and if I have to watch one more movie about spies or wars or vengeance-seeking detectives, I’m going to snap.” 

“Are ya sure you haven’t snapped already, slugger?” Tallahassee grinned, rubbing my shoulder, using his free hand to point at the collapsed DVD tower. 

Somehow he found my act of violence against our inherited DVD collection hilarious. And this wasn’t funny. Not to me, at least. “Haha,” I replied through gritted teeth.

“The lockdown was your bright idea, which I was against from the start.” He let go of my shoulder and rested his hand on my knee.

“We’ve had too many close calls the past couple weeks. I’m not risking our necks anymore for snacks or light bulbs or bourbon. Only essentials from now on.”

“Bourbon is essential.” 

I rubbed my temples, heart racing. The days of being trapped inside with nothing but an outdated collection of DVDs and a never-ending list of household chores to pass the time were taking their toll. Even if it had been my idea, I was doing it to keep him safe. Nothing scared Tallahassee, and he took too many risks, maybe to impress me or that’s just how he’s always been, or a little of both. Either way, I couldn’t take the nightmares and panic attacks for much longer. They were much worse than being stuck indoors with a man who meant more to me than I dared to admit aloud.

“You’re twitching, Columbus.” Tallahassee pointed to my face. “That’s new.”

“I told you I’m this close to bursting.” I pinched the air with my thumb and index finger.

“I’ve got an easy solution.” He squeezed my knee. “Let’s go out and buy some food. That’s essential.”

I grabbed the back of my neck, ignoring the twitch in my left eye and the strong hand on my knee. “I checked the supplies last night, and we’re stocked up on meals for at least another week.”

“Fresh air is essential.”

“Ah yes, just another beautiful day in Zombieland. Take a walk, see the sights, get your brains eaten.” 

“What you really need is a distraction.” He grabbed me from under my arms and pulled me closer to him. “A good one.”

His breath warmed my neck, and then he kissed my earlobe, melting away a bit of the tension in my muscles. He turned me so my back faced him and then rested his hands on my shoulders. I was never a fan of being manhandled, years of being bullied came to mind, but when Tallahassee moved me around like I weighed almost nothing… It was more than enough fuel for my fire. But what stopped me from acting was the uncertainty that plagued my mind, the boredom that numbed my body, the way laziness was settling in and washing away my motivation to do much of anything, even something fun and exciting and euphoric.

“I can’t.”

“Hmm.” Tallahassee squeezed my shoulders and massaged my aching muscles, digging his thumbs into tight knots. “Is that all you know how to say anymore? You always had so many words. Too many sometimes, I reckon. But I think I preferred you as a motormouth than all this ‘I can’t’ nonsense.”

“I want to, but I can’t. I’m overwhelmed, all right? Satisfied? What else do you want me to say?” I didn’t want to talk about my anxiety with him, Mr. Calm, Cool and Collected during a zombie apocalypse. 

“It’s all right, darling.” He leaned in and planted a soft kiss on my cheek, his chapped lips brushing my skin. 

Breath caught in my chest. No matter what I said or did he always chose to be gentle with me, especially when I was at my worst. The knots in my shoulder loosened. I tried to hold back my surprise, but it colored my voice regardless. “Darling?”

“I was just trying to shock you out of all those damn thoughts running in your head for a minute.”

“Sure.” I smiled freely, knowing he couldn’t see my face while he rubbed his hands down my back.

“Go on and take a bath in that nice big tub upstairs. We still got some of those bath bombs left that you enjoy so much.” He clapped his hands against my arms, giving my biceps a squeeze. “I’ve got work to do in the basement.”

“A bath sounds like a good idea.” I could already picture myself soaking in the tub, soaping Tallahassee’s buzzed head, the soothing texture of that soft fuzz under my fingers. “Uh, you could join me, you know, even if we don’t, uh…”

“Too tempting.” He winked at me, his cheeks flushing red. “I’ve got plenty of self-control, mind you, but that bathtub can get tight with both of us in it. Too many opportunities to brush and rub against ya.”

One of these days I’d work up the nerve to ask him what it was about me that did anything for him. But for now, I was thankful to be holed up with the most patient gunslinging zombie-killing man left on this planet. 

***

I sank into the tub, and the water was so warm and inviting that I felt even more foolish about my earlier outburst. I dropped the bath bomb and watched it fizz; a strong aroma of citrus and honey hit my nose. The bathroom transformed into a summer day at the beach, not that I went much in my previous life. I burned too easily even with SPF 50, and there were always too many people—imagine that. But it’s how I imagined a beach would smell. Sweet, tangy, something like excitement balanced with serenity. I should have let the bomb dissolve before I got in the tub, but I liked the sensation against my skin as it fizzed and dissolved. It was oddly soothing and distracted my mind from the thoughts and fears it cooked up to torture me.

Tallahassee had some great ideas. This bath was exactly what I needed. He was so thoughtful, and I still couldn’t grasp that I had someone in my life who looked out for me. My mind drifted back to the beach, and I wondered what a day spent there with him would be like, if only we could go. I’d travel anywhere right about now, even a beach with stones instead of sand and clouds instead of sunshine. Anywhere but stuck in this house. Besides, I’ve always wanted to rub sunscreen onto someone else’s back, and his was close to perfect, so smooth and firm and tan, and I could prevent skin cancer, too. A win-win. I couldn’t help but grin in the tub as I fantasized, even if it stung knowing we’d never get to have something as simple as a day at the beach. 

And that was my mistake. My anxious brain detected the sense of calm washing over my body as I soaked, and it went into overdrive, churning out an endless string of questions and nagging thoughts.

But maybe Tallahassee was being too nice and thoughtful? He seemed more than happy to send me to the bath. Eager, even. 

Did he truly have something to work on in the basement? I didn’t know much about home improvement, or plumbing, or electrical work, or anything practical like that, but he hadn’t even mentioned what he planned to do. I was too busy being under the spell of his sweet words and the firm grip of his hands. He knew my weakness for that drawl of his, and he’d practically dragged out his words earlier. Damn. I’d been had.

He was out of the house. That had to be it. He was off doing a bourbon run, or jogging, or something equally ridiculous and dangerous. I could almost see him out the bathroom window. Blood pounded in my ears, and my day at the “beach” had transformed into the opening scene of Jaws. From delightful and carefree to terrifying and bloody in a matter of minutes. The more I told my stomach not to tie itself in knots, the tighter it got. I stood in the tub, sloshing water onto the tile, and grabbed Tallahassee’s robe off the vanity. I threw it on, not even bothered by the foam on my chest and legs. I had to see it for myself, make sure he was in the basement, and then maybe I could enjoy my bath in peace.

I snatched my socks and put them on to avoid slipping and falling. No time for unnecessary injury, hmm… maybe a new rule? I could shorten it, make it snappier when I was in a better headspace. 

Following the curve of the staircase, I counted each step to avoid full-blown panic. In my blind rush to book it to the basement, I bumped square into Tallahassee. 

“That was a quick bath.” Tallahassee placed paints, paper, and pencils on a tablecloth spread out on the living room carpet.

I was out of breath, and somehow I had foam on my face because Tallahassee reached over and wiped it off. His fingers were warm and rough against my damp skin. “I, uh, had to ask you something.”

“Must have been pretty fuckin’ urgent.” Tallahassee studied me, his gaze wandering from my face to the foamy soap on my bare legs.

“I was thinking of adding a new rule.”

He folded his arms and took his time looking at me, chewing on his lower lip. “Since when do you ask for my opinion on your rules? That’s your thing.”

“Uh, what’s all this?” I eyed a stack of board games sitting on top of the coffee table, and I desperately needed to change the topic so I wouldn’t blurt out the real reason I rushed down the stairs.

“Welcome to the Tallahassee Lockdown Party.” He walked over to me and linked my arm with his. “I’ll give you the grand tour.” 

“Lockdown party?” I repeated.

“Did I stutter?” He narrowed his eyes, but then he smiled at me. Leaning in, he inhaled my neck. “Damn, boy, you smell good enough to eat.”

“Not funny.” I jabbed his side with my bony elbow. They were good for something, at least.

“Not that kinda eat.” His voice was rough and gravelly, and he cupped my ass over the robe. 

I needed to focus on this lockdown party thing because Tallahassee’s robe would not do a good job of hiding a hard-on. I knew that from experience. “Uh, so tell me more about this party?”

He cleared his throat and let go of my ass. “As you can see, here are the refreshments, plenty of baked beans, chips, freeze-dried fruit, and beer. No bourbon, because it’s not essential, but we’ll make do.”

“All the basic food groups.”

He ignored my retort and pulled me to the other side of the living room, near the windows. “And over this way, young sir, we have games aplenty: Monopoly, Risk, Exploding Kittens, and Cards Against Humanity.”

“Oh cool. I’ve always wanted to play Exploding Kittens.”

“You’ll have to teach me, I couldn’t make heads or tails of that one from the instructions.” He shook his head, picking up the small game box and setting it back on the coffee table. 

“We’ll figure it out as we go.” I tugged at his arm, hoping he had more ideas to show me.

“I also have a dance floor.” He motioned at the empty space in front of the bookshelf. “The record player is set to play Elvis, Willie Nelson, and John Denver, you know, real good music, and maybe some of that emo crap you like, too.”

“Really? Like Dashboard Confessional?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess that’s one of them.” He walked me back toward the art supplies. “And you’ve seen the artwork table already.”

“Tablecloth.” 

“Okay, smartass.” He tousled my hair.

“This is really fucking nice.” I scanned the room, taking it all in. He really had put a lot of thought into this. All for me. It was so much nicer than I deserved. “Jesus, Tallahassee.”

“So quit your worrying about what I’m getting up to and finish your bath so we can party, okay, spitfuck?”

“Okay.”

“Did you think I was jerking off to porn down here or something?” He unlinked our arms.

“No?” I cocked my head. 

“Because I’m saving this for you, darling.” He grabbed my hand and placed it over the hardness in his jeans.

I placed my free hand over my heart and fought back a smile. “How thoughtful of you.” 

“Get in that tub before I have my way with you on the arts and crafts table.”

“Table  _ cloth _ .”

“Get.” He smacked my ass, flames sparking in his eyes. His fingers lingered there, caressing my bare skin under the robe.

And that was enough for me. Fuck the bath. Sure there were only three bath bombs left (maybe in the world?) and I just wasted one of them, but I couldn’t leave Tallahassee down here alone. Not after he spent all this time and effort on me. Being horny as heck didn’t help either.

“No, you get.” I tried to imitate his accent and hooked my thumb in a belt loop on his jeans.

Tallahassee cupped my ass and pulled me closer to him while giving me his best glare. “Did your Ohio ass just tell me to get?” 

“Uh, yeah?” My eye twitched. But it wasn’t the only part of me that moved involuntarily.

“I know just what to do to you for that.” He stroked the stubble on his jaw with his free hand. “Take off the robe and get on that couch.”

“It’s a sofa.”

“I don’t give a zombie’s dangling eye what it is, just get on it. And you better be naked when you do.”

Instant hard-on. “Yes, sir,” I sputtered.

He stood and watched me as I pulled the robe loose and let it fall off my skinny frame onto the carpet. His gaze could have pierced flesh, and I had to look away before I got swept up in it. Turning around, I headed for the sofa and took a seat.

“Mmm. I know exactly what I got a taste for.”

_ Fuck. _ I wondered if I could die from being this hot and bothered. It seemed illegal. I was sweating bullets already, and he hadn’t even kissed me.

“That ass of yours.” He sauntered across the room, a hand on his belt buckle, and joined me on the sofa. 

“Yeah?” I croaked. He had talked dirty about wanting to taste me when we were busy doing other things, but we hadn’t tried it yet. I had upped my hygiene game, just in case, making sure every part of my body was clean for him.

He leaned in and kissed my neck, leaving a trail of saliva that led to my shoulders. The touch of his lips was feather-light, more than enough to drive me crazy until he reached my chest. He sucked at the tight skin between my undefined pecs hard enough to leave a mark. I shivered against him, holding back a moan that was building in my throat. I cherished every mark he left on me, all those colorful reminders that I was his, that I was someone to be desired.

“Goodness me, you’re something pretty.” He spoke the words into my chest, against the pounding of my heart.

I couldn’t find any way to respond coherently. Tallahassee had that effect on me, making me speechless with both his words and deeds. All I know is no one ever made me feel like I was something to treasure, not even my parents, and I know they loved me. They weren’t affectionate either, and I didn’t think I was either. I’d told myself I didn’t need to be touched or held; I had basically written myself off as a cold and distant and strange sort of guy. I had basically quarantined myself in my dorm in college, by choice, well before the apocalypse. Very limited contact except for the necessities. 

And yet here I was, wrapped up in another man’s arms, letting him kiss me and fill my head with lovely words. 

I rubbed my fingers along his head, scratching his smooth scalp as he made another mark on my chest. He hummed with approval, and then I grabbed his sharp jaw. I needed his mouth, my lips ached to kiss him, or else I’d lose it.

He grabbed the back of my head, crashing our mouths together, our tongues lapping at each other in perfect synchronicity. No battle for dominance, only sweet harmony inside our joined mouths. His tongue scraped over mine, and heat went straight to my dick.

Tallahassee broke the kiss and growled, “Lay on your side.”

I stretched out on the sofa with my back facing him as my body trembled, aching for his touch. 

His fingers traced a line from my shoulders to my back. “You’re so smooth and lovely, god damn.” He cupped my ass again, this time with both hands. “Not sure why you let a crazy old redneck like myself touch ya.”

“You’re not old.” 

He laughed against my back and kissed a line down the knobs of my spine. His stubble scratched my skin, a nice distraction from the heat flushing my neck. That ridiculous shyness returned. He had been up close and personal with my body many times but never quite like this.

Part of me doubted Tallahassee would go through with it. I knew he was the adventurous type, but this was pretty out there, at least for me. I never expected this skinny awkward body of mine to be worshipped and adored.

And then his nose was at the cleft of my ass. I covered my mouth with one hand to block my gasp.

“Damn, you do smell good.” He inhaled audibly and then pressed a kiss to my cheek. The scratch of his beard was an added bonus, stimulating my sensitive skin. “Like oranges drizzled with honey.”

I wanted to blush, but my blood supply was busy elsewhere. So he was going to do this. My heart raced faster.

“I could kill for some fresh orange slices, but I guess I’ll make do for now. Bet you taste just as sweet.” He exhaled, and warm air hit my hole, and holy heck that felt incredible. 

I shivered, trying to grip the sofa so I wouldn’t fall apart too quickly. “Oh.”

“You like that?” Another puff of air caressed my skin.

“Ye-yeah.”

“I’m just getting started with you.” He pressed a kiss on my other cheek, sucking until I could feel him leaving a mark on my ass. And, fuck, he could give me a hickey wherever he wanted with that mouth. He knew exactly how to use his tongue and lips, the same way he used them when he talked, all those drawn-out vowels, and—

I lost my train of thought when his tongue dipped inside my hole. A moan flew out of my lips before I could restrain it. “Oh, fuck.”

He lapped at me, working his tongue around my hole and licking stripes along my taint. Every flick of his tongue sent bolts of pleasure coursing through my body. Like it was too much and yet not enough all at once. I squirmed against him, losing my grip on the sofa. 

“Tallahassee, fuck, that’s good.” I couldn’t shut myself up. The words poured out of me like an incantation while his tongue worked me open, relaxing muscles I didn’t know I had.

His breath hitched, the warm air came out shaky against my ass. He replaced his tongue with his finger, pushing in slightly, just enough to— 

“Fuck!” I shouted when he found that spot faster than I was ready for. 

“Turn around.” He popped out his finger and shifted on the sofa so that his head was behind mine. 

My cock ached, and I held it against my belly as I changed position to face him. “I need, Tallahassee, fuck, I need…”

“I know.” He hushed me with a kiss at the corner of my mouth, wrapping his hand around my dick. “You’ve been so good for me.”

He was still wearing his clothes, and the outline of his dick strained against his jeans. I could tolerate a lot of things, but I was not about to let him jerk me off when he was yearning, too. And I loved having him pressed against me, skin to skin. I needed to breathe him in and smell his salt and sweat.

“Take this off.” I tugged at his shirt and then grabbed at the zipper of his jeans. “Need you.” I winced at the desperation in my voice, but it was honest if nothing else.

He smiled at me but not his usual dirty or mischievous one. It was something gentle, his features softening like they had earlier today. “Yeah?”

“Yes,” I whined. “Need your skin.”

“That’s kinda creepy.” He grinned, his eyes glimmering. “But it’s kinda hot, too.”

I was too horny to retort. I tugged at the buttons on his shirt, undoing them with great impatience, while he unzipped his jeans. He was undressed in no time, and the heat from his sweaty body against mine was worth the wait. The firm pressure of muscles made me melt into his chest, and I could’ve floated off into the clouds with his arms around me, our bodies tangled in a warm, slick embrace. 

His hand wrapped around my dick, but this time something was different. His dick twitched against mine, and shockwaves pulsed to my groin. Each brush of his dick against mine sparked an electrical storm that raged in my body. I didn’t know anything could be this good.

He took us both in hand, and I wondered where he’d hid the lube, but I couldn’t formulate coherent questions so I moaned against his chest instead, pressing kisses on tight, sweat-sheened muscles. He tugged and squeezed our cocks together until I tilted my head back, doing all I could to hold on, to not come undone too soon. How much I wanted this to last but I knew how good it would be once I let go. I knew he’d be there, holding me, holding us.

Stroking with perfect rhythm, he teased the crown of my dick with his thumb and then spent some time tugging at himself a little harder. I jerked my head forward, forcing my hazy eyes to watch. There was nothing hotter than Tallahassee pleasuring himself. His pupils were blown, his jaw lax as soft moans escaped his lips. He wrapped his fingers back around my dick, sliding us together again, and the reunion was enough to bring me to the brink. 

“Fuck, I’m close,” I said as my voice cracked.

“It’s all right, darling.” He stroked us in that strong, capable hand of his. “So good. Your dick feels so goddamn incredible rubbing on mine.”

The dirty talk was like overstimulation at this point. He knew how much I loved all the foul things that came out of his mouth, but I wouldn’t be able to hold on if he kept at it.

He tugged at my balls, his dick pressed against mine, and I saw stars. The Milky Way galaxy was more like it. He stroked me, helping me along as I came with a shout, spilling into his hand. I jerked and shuddered against him, kicking my legs at the sofa cushions. My legs dissolved to jelly, and he let me go to jerk himself. I wanted to offer a helping hand, but the blissful ride he sent me on hadn’t finished with me yet. Coming with Tallahassee was otherworldly. My orgasms were longer and harder than anything I’d experienced with my right hand.

After a few more strokes, he came with a grunt, his seed mixing with mine as he melted against me on the sofa. With a kiss on my jaw, Tallahassee sighed. “Fuck, that was good.”

“Yes, it was.” Words were still elusive while I floated, not quite sure when I would come down from this high. I would ride these clouds for as long as the universe would let me. My body was expansive and free, spreading to the infinite confines of space. Being trapped was a state of mind. Tallahassee was with me in this house, and he could show me the stars.

He kissed the tip of my nose. “Best damn lockdown party ever, if I do say so myself.”

I let out a breathy laugh, my gaze wandering to the stack of board games on the coffee table and the art supplies on the floor. “But we didn’t do any of the activities you planned.”

“Oh, yes we did.” He winked at me.

I kissed his cheek. “Well, you failed to mention mindblowing sex on the sofa during your tour.”

Tallahassee ruffled my hair, running his fingers through my messy curls. “Good parties always have a surprise or two.”

I leaned into his touch, knowing I couldn’t argue with that. “Best damn lockdown party ever.”

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. I hope everyone is staying safe.


End file.
